He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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