So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
