I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
