I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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