Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
