it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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