you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
