her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
