i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
