the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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