Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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