Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
