don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
