i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i now understand why vodka
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
