i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
