So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
