He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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