dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
