OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
