All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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