I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
