Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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