definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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