we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
there is glitter all over my balls
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
