Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
