i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize