I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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