My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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