Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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