If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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