your thong is hanging out like whoa
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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