Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
