OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
