Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
