Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
