I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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