I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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