I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The uberlube is also flammable
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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