dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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