can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
