I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
