Me too!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
