you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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