i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
