Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Rumble strips road head = magical
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
