I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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