I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Randomize
