I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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