You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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