You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
