haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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