I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I need help removing her.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
