i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
where are my eyebrows?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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