New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
