If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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