Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just blew my weed a kiss
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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