i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
