Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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