am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
