im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
