New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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