pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
