One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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