just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
