You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
