shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I had to cum in my sink.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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